All Things New

"And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.' 

Also he said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'"

Revelation 21:5

These verses are my hope today.  I am tired.  I am tired of waking up to see biting words on social media from friends feeling one way or another about a certain political issue.  I'm tired of reading about people being killed, tired of hearing everyone's opinions about whose fault it is and who deserves what.  I'm tired of the videos that are supposed evidence of who did what, and I'm tired of all of the "truths" that the media feeds us day in and day out.  

My first instinct when I read these things is to react-- to choose a side and to fight with words.  My second is to look up.  

When I remember to look up, I remember that this world is broken and marred by sin, that this isn't my home or where I'm meant to find hope and solace.  I remember that Jesus came to save this broken world from all of its sin and desolation, and that He is in heaven with the Father, making a new heaven and new earth.   That's the only hope I can find in the midst of all of the violence, hate, pride, and brokenness anymore.  I have this image of God saying these words from Revelation as he's forming the new heaven and new earth in his hands.  I have a vision of him casually looking aside as he's working to say to me as I worry and fret about the problems of this world-- Behold, I am making all things new.  

I'm sin-filled and rely on God's grace every single day, and some days I reject it with all that I am.  I dwell on how undeserving I am and I don't accept His grace, even though it's offered freely and is meant for the undeserving.  

At work lately, I'm failing in every capacity.  I cannot handle the negative attitudes that surround me, the biting words of patients and their families, the entitlement that people feel (patients, families, coworkers).  So I feel like I am tightly wound and ready to snap at any moment, and some days I do.  Yesterday I had to sit in my car for a few minutes after work just processing the day, wondering where I went wrong or what would have made the day better.  And the answer is Jesus.  And the problem is that I don't have enough of Him and don't seek His word more.  And instead I rely on myself to be perfect at what I do (impossible), and I keep trying and trying until I'm miserable and unapproachable, trying to do things I was never created to do. 

At home, I set the high expectations on myself of having a clean house, folded laundry, a well-groomed and well-behaved puppy, elaborate meals on the table, a watered and well-kept garden, a mowed lawn (lest my neighbor reminds me it's time to mow again), and a place for everything we own.  I'm lucky if I get one of those things right, and they're never all present at the same time.  So I'm left feeling like I can't succeed in homemaking either, and I just keep pushing harder and trying harder until I snap at poor Scott or become bitter about why he doesn't help (which, please note, he does!  Even in the midst of being so busy with dental school and boards!).  

It all leads back to how this world is broken and will never be perfect.  Though we were created in His image, sin dwells here.  So I will work to make peace where I go instead of fighting-- and Lord knows I need His strength to do that-- and I will rest in this image of the Lord God making all things new in His time.  My resolve is to pray when I feel overwhelmed and to seek Him instead of snapping at work or biting with words or being passive aggressive when someone makes me mad.  And I will pray when I feel burdened by the world around me and the violence that we live amongst, and I will pray for unity instead of divorce among all people.  

Grace and lots of peace to you today, in the name of Jesus.

-C