Life Lately

The anticipation of home. Wilmington, NC

Oh man.  It' been a good three weeks since I've written anything, and not for the lack of words but for lack of time!  We've been crazy busy since my last post, and the weeks ahead don't seem to be going much slower.  I was going to use my down time today to watch a movie, but Scott encouraged me to write or read, and I think this was wise.  My fingers are happy to be dancing on the keyboard again and my brain is so thankful for the respite that comes with writing.

When I had my old blog, Grace & Peace, I would sometimes write these little posts to jog my brain a little and reflect over what life has been like lately.  I think I'll do one of these again just because my brain is fuzzy from night shift and I don't know that I can coherently write much more than something in list-form today. Let's see how easy it is to pick up old habits again...

Studying for my Med/Surg certification exam.  Everyone says you don't have to study for this, but let's be real, I'm an overachiever at heart and couldn't dream of not cracking a book for this one.  Even though my unit is paying for the exam, it's a whole lot of money and I appreciate the opportunity to become certified too much to not study for the test.  Also, it's been a little bit fun for me.  I'm a lifetime student and miss school more than I probably should, so studying for this test feels a little bit like being in school.  It's been nice to study alongside Scott as he is taking his finals, and since we dated long distance for so many years, we never really did study dates together very often.

Reading blogs and articles online, but sadly no books or anything of real substance.  Until my Med/Surg exam is over, I don't really feel like I can justify reading for fun!  I am hoping that I'll be able to take the exam in January or February, but we'll know more once the approval comes in.  And after that test, oh the books!  I will be reading books like nobody's business.  Have any good recommendations? Ones I have wanted to read for a while include Where'd You Go, Bernadette? and Frances and Bernard.  I'm always looking for new recommendations though! Also, Shauna Niequist's new devotional comes out in March and I'm hoping to go to Chicago for the release of it-- anyone want to come?

Listening to jazzy Christmas music all day every day.  I've been proudly listening to Christmas music since November 1st and will continue until the end of this month.  Sometimes I continue into February. It's really ok.  I don't listen to the cheesy Christmas songs that are on the radio, but more of the Ella Fitzgerald kind of jazzy stuff, so it honestly doesn't always sound like traditional Christmas music and can thereby be listened to year round, right? Right??

Watching Property Brothers a lot with Scott.  We finished How I Met Your Mother and life hasn't been the same since.  Though, I did finally see the alternate ending and am SO happy I did.  I'm going to pretend that it is the real ending and that the one that aired on TV wasn't.  In January, Friends comes to Netflix, and though I have seen every episode multiple times thanks to my former roomies, I can't even wait.  I own a couple of seasons of Friends but have yet to reach the status of owning all of them.  Maybe someday...

Cooking lots of things!  Homemade granola bars (Ok.. that's baking...semantics), chicken enchilada casseroles, the MOST DELICIOUS burgers (I made them twice this week. TWICE), and BMALT sandwiches (bacon, mozzarella, avocado, lettuce, tomato.  YUM).  Want the burger recipe? So easy.  Basically take some ground beef and toss in a bowl.  Sprinkle with a generous amount of McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning, squirt in about 1/4 cup of BBQ sauce, a couple of squirts of Worcestershire sauce, and a few squirts of low sodium soy sauce.  Mix all together and form into patties.  I can't get over the flavor.  They were the best burgers ever, and we ate them without buns so maybe they're sort of healthyish?

Missing my friends from home.  Whenever we visit home, family always takes priority, so I spend very little time in Chapel Hill with my old friends.  Most of my friends up here are work friends, and lately work feels like a high school popularity contest.  I'm noticing little cliques forming and hearing lots of gossip, and sometimes I feel like an 85 year old woman stuck in a 24 year old's body because I just don't quite fit in with people my age there.  I'd rather spend a Friday night reading a book with hot tea and a candle burning than going out or doing what other people my age might enjoy.  Sometimes at work I feel like the nerdy middle schooler with glasses and braces again who tries to be friends with people but just never quite fits in.  I think I'm hypersensitive to the subject of friends because all of my closest ones live so far away, and I'm learning that meeting new best friends is really hard.  I read this book last year called MWF Seeking BFF in which a girl who had just moved to Chicago committed to 1 year of "girl dates" to try to meet a new best friend in her new city.  It was a perfect read for me at the time because I knew about 3 people in Indianapolis and I found the book to be humorous but true. I think maybe I should reread this one, because one year later I'm still finding friendships to be challenging and hard to maintain and come by.  I could use the comic relief of how this girl went on blind girl dates for a year to make myself feel a little less desperate.  I have friends, don't get me wrong.  And I appreciate all of the ones I have made and all of the people who have shown such great kindness to me.  But I still crave the ones who will go to coffee with me to talk about books and Jesus and writing, or someone who will go on a 5 mile run with me and keep me laughing throughout so I don't even realize how far the distance really is (Oh, Shannon.  Please move here).  But I'm learning how to adapt to new friendships and new shared interests with people, it's just a process.

Wishing I could be on a normal work schedule.  Speaking of work... I just told my nurse manager that I would agree to being a charge nurse on our unit, which I'm quite excited about.  My fear with accepting this is that it will just dig me a bigger hole on night shift to where I won't be able to move to days.  I try not to complain too often about working nights, but if you've never done it, I don't know if I can quite explain the feeling to you.  Your relationships all feel so strained, you only sleep in the same bed as your spouse 4 nights a week, you are grumpy and tired and overly emotional and cry over things that normally would not upset you so much, and you feel so disconnected from the rest of the working world.  You eat poorly and have little energy to exercise or be active, and though people will say to you "But you only work three nights a week!" you realize that it's much more than that, as most of your days surrounding your shifts are spent trying to catch up on or get ahead on sleep.  Some people wear night shift well, but sadly I am not one of them.  I am making the best of what it is though and am so appreciative of the people I work with on nights.  Night shift on our floor is a pretty tight knit crew (despite my mention of the new cliques earlier) and we are known for teamwork and helping each other out.  I don't think we'd survive most shifts without that.

Enjoying days off when I can sit by my Christmas tree and stare at the penguin ornaments while watching The Holiday (my Christmas jam.  I watch this about eighty seven times over the holidays).  I'm still looking for more quiet and more time to read and write, but my hope is that it will come soon.

Writing this post and not much else!  My book hasn't been touched in about a month.  Perhaps after the holidays I can get back into it and set some new goals for writing.  I still have so many ideas for it but just haven't recommitted to the process yet.

Anticipating our trip home for the holidays, staying at the beach house instead of house hopping, running on the beach, spending time with all of our family, seeing my best friends, and snuggling with Gracie Lou.  This is our first married Christmas and it's already turning out to involve a lot of planning and coordinating of schedules, but I think it will be a good one!  I have had a lot of fun shopping for both of our families this year and putting together their gifts.  I think gift giving may be a love language of mine that I never quite unveiled earlier in life.  I don't like receiving gifts all that much, but giving them is something I adore.

And I think that's all for now friends.  Expect very little in the way of writing over the next few weeks-- I will write when there is time, but I am expecting very little of it!  We leave Friday for home and I fly back up here next Wednesday to work 6 shifts before going home AGAIN on Christmas Eve.  Whew, lots of travel! Lots of work.  But it's all for good reason-- to spend time with our families.  I hope you all enjoy the holiday season and that you are able to celebrate the birth of the Savior.  I know that this time of year can be so stressful and busy, but it an also be restful if you find your hope in the right places.

Lots of love and warm wishes. And Merry Christmas from our family to your's!

Love,

C.