Stepping Outside the Door

Source: Skjersaa Group

Happy Tuesday, friends!  And Happy Autumn Equinox (or first day of Fall)!  I hope you are celebrating Fall's arrival with pumpkin treats and drinks (we're already 85% finished with our first twelve pack of Sam Adams' Octoberfest and I'm 4 pumpkin spice lattes into the season), scarves, crockpot meals, and costume planning for Halloween.  I was determined to buy a pumpkin on the first day of Fall but ended up spending too much money on things we actually needed to purchase one. Talk about self control.  It felt like all of the pumpkins were staring at me with sad, weepy not-yet-carved-or-painted eyes as I walked away from them and got into my car.

Do you know what the hardest thing is for me on most days? It's getting out of my house.  On most days, today included, I have the hardest time stepping out of my front door.  In our apartment, all of the little comforts of our life together exist and have melted into one another to make this feel like a real home to me.  And when I wake up in the morning, all I want to do is sit inside with my coffee and a good book while I peer outside at what everyone is doing on the other side of my window.  But actually leaving the apartment?  Nope, not for me.

That's my introverted nature, I think.  I like to see what's going on in the great big world outside, but sometimes it seems scary to participate.  Sometimes I fear what's on the other side of my front door, and it seems so much safer to just stay inside.

More often than not, when I do step outside the door, I'm immensely glad that I did.  Some of the very best parts of life happen on the other side of the door.  My career takes places on the other side of the door, as do get-togethers with friends, movie dates, my favorite restaurant outings, weather (particularly, Fall weather).  But sometimes, it takes a lot of building yourself up and being brave to open that door.  Sometimes it's pushing past insecurities about yourself, doubts about if you can make it, worries about traffic and weather and what other people will think.  But once you're past all of that, it can be so beautiful.

Today was one of those mornings when I just fretted over leaving the house.  I was supposed to have a checkoff for something at work, and as silly as it now seems, I just didn't want to go.  I was worried that I hadn't prepared enough, concerned about parking-- what if I couldn't find a spot??-- and just generally thinking it would be better to stay inside and watch Fall happen from my bay window.

But when I finally left my house, I was so glad that I did.  I saw smiley, friendly people in the class that I went to, had a nice conversation with the man in Trader Joe's about brussels (yes, this word is supposed to be pluralized. I checked for good measure) sprouts on the stalk, I got lots of things accomplished on my to-do list, and I was able to feel the gentle breeze of Fall that added a little cheer to my steps today.

The biggest step I have ever taken outside of the door was when I moved from North Carolina to Indiana.  I was pretty terrified about the whole thing, especially with my lack of a job (which I proceeded to call funemployment for a few weeks before it got old), but every time someone would question me or raise concerns about me going, I would dig up every brave fiber I had to speak and to say that I was not going to live in fear of the unknown.  On the other side of the door of our little green house in Durham was a great, big, scary unknown.  I had no idea what was in store for me in Indiana; after only visiting a few times, how could I know what to expect? But I've never been happier than I was on that November day last year when I stepped outside of that door.  What was waiting for me here was far better than I ever could have imagined, and for that I am thankful.

I have found this same phenomenon to exist in my faith life, too.  Sometimes I like to sit back and watch what God is doing in the lives of other people, and I thank Him for all of the blessing that He is pouring upon someone.  But then He calls me to step outside the door in faith and do something in His name, and I freeze.  Wait, me? I'm not ready for that.  I'm not holy enough or spiritual enough and I haven't memorized enough Bible verses this week (wait, I don't even know where my Bible is right now, is it under the bed??) and God is probably looking for someone different for this.

But He's not.

He's looking for me, and I have to decide to trust Him and step outside the door of the box that I have built for myself.  I have to depart from the self-centered life I've pursued and focus on someone outside of the box, someone who needs a friend or a cup of coffee or a smiling face in the grocery store.  And I can't do any of those things if I don't open the door and step outside.  I can't love other people from in here in real, tangible ways.  On a superficial level, maybe, with texts and letters and phone calls.  But the real work of loving people-- helping them move their sofa out of their apartment, or bringing them food when a family member just passed away, or buying a cup of coffee for an unsuspecting person in line behind you-- these things all happen on the other side of the door.

Don't fear the other side of the door, as I so often have.  Be brave.  Turn the handle and step outside, and prepare to be amazed at all of the wonderful things that you'll encounter on the other side of that door.  Sure, there's a lot of scary things, too.  But mostly, I think you'll be glad that you stepped outside.

Wishing you all the very best this week, and please feel free to contact me if you're in need of prayer.  My little prayer book is getting quite full and that's exactly how it likes to be.

Lots of love,
C.