Funemployment

I never know how to start out my blog posts.  Let's start there.  I want to write to you like I'm writing a letter, but who do I address it to?  I consider those who read my posts to be dear friends of mine, even if we've never met before.  I want to write to you like I would a pen pal, to speak to you as if we were sitting across from one another in a coffee shop, sharing life's most intimate happenings.  And that's how I'm going to start out this particular post, it seems.  Sharing my uncertainties about how to speak with you, sweet friends.

"Funemployment" has been a bit of a roller coaster for me.  My last official day working at UNC was exactly one month ago.  It was a Tuesday when I left 3 West for the last time, and I was three days away from moving to Indianapolis as I clocked out that night.  A couple of friends who had helped me pack that weekend before the move convinced me to refer to my period of unemployment as funemployment, which I thought was.. fun, to say the least.  It put a new spin on how I was looking at that period of uncertainty and gave me a more positive perspective from which to look at it from.  I didn't have to mope about being unemployed, complain about the lack of new job postings in Indy, show my worry over the lack of health insurance benefits that I would face come the end of November.  It made me feel more confident about not having a job when I moved to Indianapolis.

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned the long process of getting my nursing license in Indiana, applying for jobs, waiting, interviewing, waiting, interviewing, waiting, with no bites.  When I planned my move, the hope was to have maybe a couple of weeks off to unpack and get organized, but then to start working shortly after.  Thing was, I really wanted to have a job secured already when I made the move so that I could really ENJOY putting my apartment together and learning my way around.  I didn't want to be rushing off to interviews while in the middle of unpacking boxes or to be wondering if I'd be unemployed for months on end with the wedding quickly approaching and expenses constantly flowing.  

Things rarely work out the way we plan for them to.  I moved up here without the promise of a job, but with the hope of one to come.  I read Matthew 6 over and over again, reminding myself that worrying was sinful and that I needed to trust that God knew what was best for me, that I didn't need to lie in bed at night wondering how long these days without working would go on for.  Truth is, I met a lot of resistance from family and a few friends when I decided to make the move with no job in sight. I responded to their concerns with bold faith, telling them that I was not worried about finding a job and that I had saved meticulously over the past year of working in preparation for something like this.  I had calculated in moving expenses, security deposits, grocery bills, health insurance, travel expenses, etc., and was prepared for a few months of living up here without income.  And mostly, when I told people that I wasn't worried, it was true.  Though I did have these little monsters in my brain trying to tell me it wasn't logical to move like this, my heart felt still.  I felt a deeper peace in the midst of all of the worry.  Though I did wonder how I would provide for myself if unemployment extended for a long period of time, I didn't let it consume me.  The thoughts and worries were there, but they were more like a little itch than a disease taking over my whole body and being.  I really did believe that things would work out.

My month up here in Indianapolis has been a testimony to the Lord's faithfulness and His provision.  Things worked out a little differently from how I imagined.  I did have to rush off to interviews in the midst of unpacking boxes and arranging things in the apartment.  I had to dig out interview clothes minutes before an interview, run an iron over them, and race out the door to make my interviews on time.  I had to learn my way around this giant, unfamiliar place to get to these interviews.  I had to admit in each interview that I had just moved here within the past month and was still trying to get familiar with the area-- to offer apologies for not laughing when they joked about something only a real Hoosier would understand.  I viewed each interview as an opportunity; even if the job didn't work out, it was more experience for me in learning how to answer those types of questions, another chance for me to think critically and meet a challenge in responding.  

I'll be starting my new job on December 9th, exactly one month and one day after I moved to Indianapolis.  If I could have picked how this would all work out, I would have asked to have a job secured but perhaps not start until January so I could go home for the holidays.  There's still no word on if and when I'll be able to get home, but I'm hopeful that I will.  I'm finding that things work out the way that they should.  I can't always see that when I'm right in the middle of something, but when I look back, I can see how things were orchestrated in such a way that was for ultimate good.  

I'm thankful for my month of funemployment.  I'm thankful for days of reading books, spending time with the Lord, cooking, baking, organizing, cleaning, eating meals with Scott, wandering around aimlessly in my new city, meeting with friends up here, taking it easy for once in my life.  But this busy body is also thankful that funemployment is drawing to an end and that a new routine will be starting soon.  I'm a little scared of my new job, and I think that's a good thing.  It's very unfamiliar to me.  I'll be taking care of 5-6 patients (more than my previous 4-5), some on ventilators (VERY new to me.  I've been reading about them online to give myself a little intro!), in a much smaller facility where everyone knows each other, in a new city in which I still need my GPS to get just about everywhere.

But it's good fear.  It's a challenge.  Funemployment has been challenging in its own way, teaching me to be ok with not having to-do lists every day and places to run off to all the time.  It's taught me to be ok with being still.  Now I feel ready for a new challenge, new people, a new place.  I ask for prayer as I face the next part of the adventure.  You've all been so good to me and so encouraging during my time here and in my time preparing to come.  Thanks for all of your texts, e-mails, phone calls, letters.  I truly have the best of family and friends.  

Grace & peace, dear friends. 

C