Thursday, April 17, 2014

Today was a Fairytale

Photo credit: Crystie Beroth

I suppose I can't say "today" anymore, because it was several days ago now.  But it still feels like I was just standing under a live oak in Rose Hill at Scott's grandmother's house saying "I do" to a lifetime with him as my husband.  Everyone told me that the day would fly by, and in some ways, it did.  But it didn't fly by in a way that I regretted, where I found myself wishing for more.  Instead, time seemed to move forward at just the right pace.  It was moving somewhat fast, but I was able to appreciate everything about every moment that was passing.  I took in the freshly cut green grass at Mama C's house before I walked down the aisle, I felt the sun shining on my back as I started to walk towards my groom.  I looked around and saw smiling faces of family and friends before I made it to the end of the aisle.  Later, I tasted some of the best sweet tea I've ever had, ate delicious macaroni and cheese and barbeque without having to worry about what so many people have told me-- that I wouldn't be able to eat.  Oh trust me, I ate.  I enjoyed every bit of the food before me.  And after over a year of planning every little detail of our wedding, I was free.  I was able to enjoy everything that I had been planning, as well as things that I hadn't planned.

I wrote a post when I moved to Indianapolis called "It Takes a Village" in regards to moving.  Well, no surprise here, but pulling together a mostly DIY wedding takes a village as well.  And my village was wonderful.  I can't even go into enough detail here to thank my entire village, but seriously- to everyone who spent hours on the floor with me wrapping yarn around wine bottles, to everyone who stood on ladders hanging paper lanterns and mason jars the week of the wedding, to everyone who went with my "out there" crafting ideas that took hours to complete, to all of our family and friends who made extensive travel plans and travelled far, and to everyone who listened to me dream up this wedding for the past year-- thank you for loving Scott and me enough for that.  We wanted our wedding to be filled with love and for Christ's love to be evident, and for me, at least, it totally was.

It's crazy to me that less than a week ago, I was standing before Scott and our dearest family and friends making a commitment to face whatever challenges life may bring with Scott by my side as my husband.  What's even crazier is that we've already faced several of the "whatever life may bring" moments this week.  Without going into details, I'll confess that I've already had to step up into my wife role this week to learn how to encourage Scott.  What's ironic about this is that at our last pre-marriage counseling session with our pastor, James, I didn't have a clue as to how to accomplish that.  But I found that in the moment I needed to do it as his wife, I just knew what he needed.  He's had to encourage me as well this week after learning some upsetting family news, and he's done the most wonderful job of it.

I've come to realize this week that we have a village right here in Indianapolis that deserves so much credit for their loving friendship.  While most couples spend their first week of marriage on a beach somewhere honeymooning, we came back to real life and had it knock us on the ground pretty quickly.  But our village was there, encouraging and offering the kind of support that life-long friends are usually there for.  We've got some good ones, I'm telling you.  Our Indianapolis village also has all of our love for making the trip down to NC for our wedding.  They spent over 24 hours in a car last weekend to travel there and back, and we love them so much for that.  Table 10 (yes, I remember some of my table numbers from the wedding) has so much of the Davis's love right now, you guys are seriously rockstars.

Laughter has been good this week.  I'm learning a lot about finding joy even in the midst of difficult circumstances.  Scott and I have laughed so much this week.  In moments when maybe it wasn't so appropriate to laugh, we did.  And in moments when it was very appropriate to laugh, we did. Until our faces hurt.  I think that's my favorite part of being married to Scott so far-- the laughter that we experience seems so much richer than it was before.  I don't even know why, because trust me, we've laughed many times over the past 8 years.  But our laughter in marriage is just sweeter.

Thank you to everyone who helped make our wedding a true fairytale.  It was so beautiful and so filled with love, and I can't express my gratitude enough for it all.  And to everyone who is supporting us and loving us in our attempt at "happily ever after," thank you for loving us in moments of weakness.  We are so undeserving of such great love.

Photo credit: Pam Simpson

Photo credit: Pam Simpson

Photo credit: Crystie Beroth

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

8 Years Later

I couldn't even think of a title for this post for the longest time.  I couldn't sleep today after night shift (I slept some-- about 5 hours, which is just not enough for me!), and I'm wondering if this is normal.  Is it normal not to sleep the week before your wedding?  It's not nerves.  Several people have asked me how nervous I am; I'm not nervous at all.  I've known this man for many years and have loved him since the very beginning of it all.  Pre-marriage counseling has taught me that there's still a lot to learn about him (yes, even after 8 years, there are surprises!).  As for the day itself, I'm praying for sunny, warm weather, but I know I have no control over this. And so if it rains on April 12th, I will dance in the rain with my husband and I will celebrate just as fervently as if it were sunny.  But as for nerves, I do not have any.

I've been waking up from strange nightmares lately-- a hurricane came through and our tent company refused to let us rent the rent that weekend, the day before the wedding all of our guests started canceling and so did our vendors-- but I wouldn't call it nerves.  I'm living in anticipation right now, which is exactly what I said I wasn't going to do in 2014.  This was my self-proclaimed year of living in the present.  But just this one time, I'm allowing myself to break the rules and to live in anticipation and expectation of what is to come.

This month the culmination of all of my planning and crafting and budgeting takes place; I will see everything that we have worked so hard for over the past 13 months come together for our wedding.  Even more than that, I'll see what the Lord has been building for the past 8 years culminate in a covenant between us and Him.  I have long awaited this day, and I can hardly believe that it's just next week.

I started packing for home the other day and realized that this is IT.  This is the most important packing job I will ever do (hyperbole maybe? At this point, it seems like the most important one!), particularly because our wedding is back in NC.  I've been very careful to pack all of the essentials-- running shoes, workout clothes, rehearsal dinner dress, other fun dresses (just in case!), all of my favorite beauty items, Scott's ring, important documents to get our marriage license.  And the days are just slipping away.

When I met Scott 8 years ago, I had no idea that he was the boy I would marry.  At 16, you don't necessarily think of every relationship as one that ends in marriage.  We had agreed that we wouldn't want to date each other unless we could see ourselves marrying the other person, but there were no imminent plans of marriage way back then.  These years have been so full of life for us, and not just the happy parts of life.  We've dealt with the big stuff together-- joys mixed with sorrows, big let-downs and disappointments mixed with big happy moments.  Our relationship has lived through  numerous moves and hundreds of miles, high school, college, nursing and dental schools, poor communication, unrealistic expectations, broken families, painful goodbyes, and tearful confessions.  It's the same stuff that I expect our marriage to face; but thankfully, there are those small joyful moments that help to overshadow those big scary things.  There's coffee in the morning and brunch in my (soon-to-be our) apartment, singing silly Disney songs and laughing until our faces hurt.  There's quick runs together through our neighborhood and trips to hood Kroger where they don't stock our salad staple-- goat cheese; there's study breaks for Flying Cupcake and late night trips to Walgreens for Blue Bell ice cream.  There's church on Sunday mornings and fellowship over meals with friends afterwards.  All of these things are the things that make up a life together, and they're the things that we sometimes miss while we wait around for something big to happen-- buying a house, having a baby, getting the dream job, etc.  But I've spent 8 years of these little moments with Scott and they have been just as important as the big, seemingly life-defining moments.

So though the biggest moment of all is coming upon us, the one with two little I dos, I'm living in anticipation but not considering it the finish line for all of this.  I don't want to call it the day my life begins, that seems a little bit dramatic and untruthful.  I've been living the past 23 years of my life; but now, I get to do life alongside an incredible, goofy, handsome, Jesus-loving man.  For that, I am excited and ever so thankful.

Here's to many more years of experiencing life's bigs and smalls alongside my husband.  Husband. Husband... husband. HUSBAND?! Maybe that word starts to seem normal after a while.  I'll be sad to hang up fiancĂ© in a week and a half, it's been a good word for the past 13 months.

In any case, you probably won't hear much from me over the next week and a half; I fly out on Friday to spend a week in Wilmy before it all begins.

See you on the other side! :)